Helping me through
by Clementin
Summary: After the war, Remusis left depressed. After retrieving from it, by the help of the golden trio, he forms a special bond to Hermione, as she seems to have grown into a rational and caring woman. They get involved, but her returning for her seventh year, and him taking a last-minute offer as the new DADA teacher, how will things turn out? M for later chapters, I'll keep it classy!
1. Reality sets in

**Reality sets in**

**:So, this is my first novel. I am used to write, nonetheless, but usually for newspaper debates, or such things. However, I do hope you will enjoy this Remus/Hermione fanfic, as much as I love to write about them.**

**In my little imaginary world, Remus will survive the war, with the unfortunate loss of Tonks, whom I am so sorry to leave behind. I will still miss the bubblegumpink-haired, clumsy, bad-timer witch. Also, to tell you right away, I will not bring Sirius back to the living, although he will in some sort appear in the novel, but as a ghost, haunting Moony's mind. Just to avoid the confusion.**

**/All credit to the marvelous and magical Mrs. Joanne Rowlings, the rightful owner of the plot and characters, of our favorite book series. May she continue up the good work, for more fantastic novels./**

_Remus remembered the smell of burned paper and wood, when the long tables of The Great Hall, suddenly would burst into flames, scaring the bewildered wizards and witches fighting upon them, making them jump to the floor. Amongst them was his beautiful and scarred wife, Nymphadora, whom he loved so much. She threw scared glances at him, before yelling "CONFUNDOS", and pointing her wand, at the dark, older man, getting up from the floor, just meters away from her. He joined her side, whispering the killing curse silently, before he watched the glistering, green light, surround the man, falling back to his knees._

_So many human beings were killed that night. He looked down at Tonks, knowing she didn't have the guts to throw it herself. She was to gentle, and too. Young. She was so young, and she was so good-hearted, with all her stupid timing, and stupid clumsiness. But he loved her, so much. Like a father, loved his daughter, like a brother loved his sister. How a man loved his woman. Oh, dear, he was so wrong about the situation, he knew her time was short, and he had taken the last of her youth, knowing she gladly let him. But the soft smiles she sent him, whispering thank you. He just couldn't resist it, and places a soft kiss upon her nose, letting out a tear. He could hear her breathing and a small whimper, caused by the pain of her heart, and her badly bruised arm._

_He couldn't get distracted, so he gently brushed her chin with his pale fingers, before telling her:_

"_We're surrounded dear. Take your way to the Owlery, I'll continue to the Entrance hall. And dear..."_

_She looked upon him._

" _I love you. In every form possible."_

_And with those words, he knew he had seen his wife for the very last time, as she nodded and turned around, almost bursting into tears, terrified and hurt. So did she._

Remus awoke with a silent scream, pain in his chest. The sweat was dribbling down his forehead, and he took deep breaths and stood up. He lazily threw his legs out of his comfortable four-poster bed, letting his feet land on the cold floor. He sighed. Nymphadora. Oh, how he missed her. All her perks and changing looks, and colourful personality.

He ignored the cold july night, and stood up, walking to his closet, finding a rather old robe, and threw it around his shoulders. He started to pace around the room, imagining Tonks sweet whispers, talking loving words in his ears. He had to get back to reality though.

It had been like this for months, he thought.

It had not been long after the second wizard war, that he had started to get these nightmares. The first couple of weeks, he had wandered around like a soulless child, looking upon the moon every single night. Not even the transformation he went through every month, could be compared to the pain he felt about losing Tonks. It made him silent, and withdrawn. All those night, walking down the halls of Grimmauld place, listening to Mrs. Blacks screams from the portrait, were just a daily routine, he had to get through. Not because he liked it very much, but because it made him move. It made him feel close to living. His muscles would get something to do, when he the rest of the day would lock himself inside his room, isolating from the world outside. He just couldn't cope with it. All the people he had lost. But most importantly, his Dora.

All tough, after the first month and a half, he found rest in books, and would let himself out. It was then, he found pleasure in the youngsters company. Molly wasn't for much use, they didn't have anything in common, nor could he have pleasant talks with Mr. Weasley. The other members of the Order, rarely dropped by. The children though, treasured his company. They had grown close over the summertime, when the sun started to show it's face again. They'd go out eventually, trying to let the light get to them again. They had all lost something in that war. Not just him, that the Weasleys, Harry and Hermione would remind him of. He found comfort in that.

Him, Ron, Harry and Hermione shared the evenings in the library, after he would have long chats with Harry about the auror training. They would all start the seventh year in a five weeks time, when the official holidays were over. It had been months, since the war finished, but so did school. It was no use, in getting on with teaching, as so much damage was done, and it all had to be fixed, before students and teachers would be back again.

The golden trio along with Ginny, would attend to finish off, and he would surely start to get depressed again. It bothered him, and the cold would suddenly get to him.

By that, he drifted out of his daydreaming, and looked at the Grandfathers clock, standing in the corner of the room. It was only twelve. He could be lucky, to find Hermione sitting with her nose in a book, in the living room.

He sighed, putting on his Beige trousers and socks, and let himself swim out the door, closing it and setting towards the stairs. He walked down, only to find the lights of the living room fully lit. His breath was now deep again, and he longed for company. He slipped inside the dark, comfy room, seeing Hermione concentrated and reading a book of defensive spells.

" You surely wont find anything useful in that book, my dear. I'll dare say, you know anything by hand, that the book will tell you. And more so." He smiled at her.

She looked up from the book, returning the glad look, and she rose from her seat. She wore nothing but her pajamas, though the night was cold, but she had lit a fire in the fireplace, and it made the room hot and sleepy.

" Now _professor_, studying is one thing, revising old text-books is another." She chuckled at him.

" Now _Miss Granger_, it had been long ago, since I was your professor, please consider me an equal. It was only a statement. But really 'Mione, don't you remember it all?" He walked over to her, and she looked up at him.

" I suppose so, Remus. I just needed to find a proper excuse for staying up late. No one would suspect it, well perhaps besides you. We're starting terms soon, and I haven't been attending school for about a year or so. You can't blame me."

Her head tilted to the right, as he send knowing glances at her, and took her in for a hug.

" Why would you want to stay up late? You'll get out of your sleeping habits." He said, letting go of her warm, slender figure.

" Same as you." Was her answer. She had lost great the part of her friends in that war too.

" Sorry. I wasn't aware. Tell me Hermione, how do you get so beautifully through this? How can you cope with it, without us knowing the pain you're going through?" He asked curiously. She sat down at the large, Victorian couch, and patted at the seat beside her. He took it, and looked at her again.

" Thanks to you, and all the others. You keep me earth bounded, you know, got me to stay in the reality, facing the truth. I can't afford to loose myself in getting over the incident. So for you, Remus. You just need to find someone or something, that will make you get over Tonks. I don't care who it is, or how it is done, but let people love you, and then you will perhaps find that you're far more capable of giving it back, then you'll might suspect." She would wet her lips, turning her body against him. She was so bright, so kind and gorgeous. Those words didn't come from a young adult, but from an old lady, knowing the tolls life takes on you. She was like Tonks, just smarter, less clumsy and far more fragile.

" I can't be loved. I repulse people, you know that!" He spat at her, but with an ironic, playful tone, so that she knew he meant it by a good heart. She took his hands.

" I love you, you know that. I'll always do. Just tell me, and I will do anything to make you happy."

And she meant it. He had formed a bond to the young witch. She was much more like an adult, than he would admit.

" I love you too. I just don't think you'll ever love me for more than a friend, Hermione, so I can't ask you for the thing I need the most." He whispered to her, bringing her hand to his lips, kissing them, and placing them in her free lap again.

" What is it, then?" She now asked worried, but interested.

"Intimacy of some kind. I miss someone being in the air around me, I miss holding someone. I do appreciate our late evening conversations, believe me, but it's just not the same as having someone around you all the time. That's what I miss the most, after Tonks. Disappeared. Left me behind." He told her, but she just almost couldn't believe it. Remus was a lovely and kind man, surely someone would love him someday. His brain, skills, looks and academic appearance were just some lesser important things. She couldn't let this man wander in loneliness, not when she knew just how much she had grown to care for him, her old professor. He had taught her much more, than any teacher before him, and she urged to return that favor. She could never stand to see him continue into a deeper depressed state of mind. Her heart couldn't bare it.

So she leaned into him, holding him, whispering loving words in his ear, telling him that he wasn't right. And automatically, she kissed him right below his left ear, letting the heat strike him, and she felt his arms tightening around her.


	2. She's my Dora

**:So, I truly hoped you liked the first chapter. I'm not really a fan of fiction litterature, but it started well. It wasn't as long as I hoped for, but exams are coming up, so it's only in my very limited sparetime, that I'll get time for my little project.**

**I actually liked the start better, than I had expected to.**

**Review, and I'll love you to the moon and back!:**

Chapter 2:

She backed away fast, when she felt his reaction to it, as she thought his grip around her, was in anger. She had a scared look at her face, but to her surprise, he only looked confused. His eyes though, held a spark, and she couldn't figure out why.

"I'm sorry, Remus. I am so sorry, it was not my intention!" She quickly began to say, when he opened his mouth.

"No, it's okay, 'Mione. I'm just... Surprised, that's all. Relax." He still looked rather confused.

Surely, she was nice and caring, but she had never seemed like the one to do such things. Above all, to her old professor. She had been the best student Hogwarts had ever had, perhaps beside Tom Riddle, but you couldn't compare those two persons.

She sat still, and waited for him to do something, and so he kept talking.

"Hermione, you do realise what you've just done, don't you? I mean, I used to teach you, and I am twice your age. Not to speak of my lycanthropy. Please, I can't let you do this. You're a wonderful person, and I like you, it's not that." She looked at him with big eyes, and replied.

"I know, I suppose it was just hormones. Or because I'm tired. I don't know. Really. Remus, I didn't mean to!" She was both confused and slightly scared that he wouldn't have anything to do with her again, after that. Surely, they had grown close, and Remus was now one of her favourite persons. She couldn't bare to lose him, not after all they had gone through, losing Fred, Tonks, Dumbledore, Colin, Lavender, Snape, everybody.

"It's the time being, 'Mione. You need someone as well. You have gone through so much, try and practice what you preach instead, those are wise words, you say! Just take a breath." He tried to relax her, and took her hands.

"Now, why did you stay up late, dear?" He tried to change the subject, because the atmosphere surrounding them had gone pretty awkward.

"Nightmares. I keep seeing the faces."

"What faces, 'Mione? Tell me."

She moved her body again, because her position had gone rather uncomfortable, and he put his arm around her, naturally as it had become over the summer.

"Fred and Lavender. They were all my friends, you know. I knew them so well, I laughed with them and cried with them. All tough Lavender was quite the pain in the ass sometimes, I shared a dorm with her for 6 years. You can't take that away from me. Those memories of our first years, where she was still nice and sweet, she was one of the only girlfriends I could talk to. I was quite the loner, as you might have noticed" He laughed a little about that. They were very similar at that point, so alike. "Then she became barely tolerable, when we got to our third year, hitting puberty, but she was still there. Everyday I saw her face, and she smiled. Hateful at times, but still. And Fred, oh god. Unlike you, I got to see those not so joking parts of him, and you know, that side of him was truly admirable. He and George combined, were geniuses, I did really admire them. Now George has turned into a Zombie. I know you cared for them as well, but the only one you really lost in that war, is Tonks."

He looked weirdly at her. She was for the first time in years, wrong about something.

"That's not correct. I have lost just as many as you. Tonks was the last one. But you forget that I have lost both Sirius, James, Dumbledore and even Snape, in this war. And countless others, that I can't list. Hermione, this war doesn't only strike over this one battle, there has been a war, since before you were even born." He explained her, and looked hurt. That she didn't think of that, surprised him rather much. He could tell from her face, that she was embarrassed. She wasn't used to be wrong, but also she was embarrassed that she seemed selfish. She hadn't thought of that. Remus didn't see her like that, though.

"Sorry dear, I just needed you to realise." He said softly.

"It's okay. You're right about it. I should have thought I through."

He smiled to her, and placed his hands in her hair, and kissed her forehead.

"You don't need to apologize. I can't get mad at you, you know that." He still smiled, and she shifted again, leaning back.

"Now, the clock is nearly half past twelve, shouldn't we get back to bed? The fire is dying, and you seem a bit dizzy." She nodded, and looked up at him.

"I suppose you're right. Get up!" She said heavily, and stood up with him. She took her hand, and led through the door, up the stairs, down the hallway. The silence was painful, and only whispers would not be deadly in the Black's old resident, where everyone beside the two, were asleep. He stopped by her door, and looked down upon her.

"Goodnight Hermione. Sleep tight, okay." He looked knowingly at her.

"Remus, can I perhaps ask you to stay. With me? I don't want to be alone at the moment." She begged him, and stepped closer to him. He didn't like the scenario, but also he was protective of her, and wouldn't let her be alone in this state.

"No fooling around, okay!" He said, smiling broad.

"But in my room. My bed is bigger than yours. C'mon" He demanded, and he slipped around on his heel, walking past two doors, before he opened his own, letting Hermione in first. She glanced around the room, which she had never seen before.

"Let's get to bed." He said, closing the door again, and jumping up upon his bed again. He pointed his wand at the fireplace, since the bedroom was freezing cold. And to admit it, he wouldn't have a certain witch snuggling up to him, because of the temperature.

She stopped admiring the room, and set towards him in the bed, and jumped up on him, causing a rather uncomfortable look on his face.

"'Mione, get down!" He threw her off of him, and she landed beside him. He grinned at her, throwing his duvet over them both. She snuggled into it, with a satisfied look on her face. He suspected that her intentions weren't as innocent as he first thought. He found her tired voice incredibly beautiful, when she let out a whimper, and stared into his eyes. So they lay there, talking about nothing for the next ten minutes, before she drifted into her sleep. She looked beautiful and peaceful. He wasn't used to that. It had been so long since someone laid beside him. He admired her face, hair and body, and again he couldn't help but to compare her to his Dora.

The last time they had spent the night together, was two days before the final battle. They had been there, in the bed, knowing one of them, or probably both, would be dead before three days had gone by. They had loved each other so much, and knowing that Teddy was sleeping tight in the room next to theirs, they had made love there, in the darkness. All their passion and frustrations, love and pain had come to the surface that night. She had laid beside him, sweating, whispering in his ears, caressing him and telling him how much she loved him. Her youth was spilled on him, he couldn't help but think.

Oh Dora. Again he thought of the days, they were arguing. They had been in a fight, because of her age, and how he was using her, how dangerous he was to her. And then she got pregnant with his baby. His Teddy. He had been furious, running away like a coward. He had gotten scared, both for him and the child. Not for himself. But what if the child inherited his lycanthropy? He could never look into his or her eyes, without feeling guilty. But when he saw his baby's eyes, all that fear disappeared.

He had his family, and they were happy. He had it all, but now it was all gone. Tonks was gone. Teddy was motherless.

He had Molly and Hermione, but Teddy had no Tonks. Remus felt so bad, that his only child would be with no mother. It was killing him slowly, that Teddy had already called the two oldest witches in the household 'Momma', when Teddy's real mother, was laying 5 feet under ground.

God, was he not pathetic? He was laying beside the most beautiful witch he had ever known, in his own bed, but all he could ever think of, was his dead wife and his blue-haired baby boy. He knew Hermione and Molly would take great care of Teddy, and Hermione took great care of himself, but it just wasn't right! But she would never come back, it just wasn't possible.

With those words ringing in his head, he decided to get on with his life, and he reached out for his wand, and lit off the fire, so the room gone black. So did his mind.

It was cold, when he awoke the next morning. There were brown curls everywhere, and a tiny face with long eyelashes, was fast asleep on top of his chest. His arms were wrapped protectively around her body, and he tightened his grip, making her moan in her sleep.

He couldn't get up, so he just watched her. She was so pretty and peaceful. He took one of her hands blissfully, and kissed her knuckles. A smile reached her lips, and he admired her soft curves. She was warm, very unlike his bedroom, and he snuggled deeper into her. He enjoyed the heat coming from her, and he caressed her arm, when he realised, how their bodies fit completely. He again took her hand, but only held it, until he could her her low voice, whispering good morning.

"Slept well?" She asked him. He hummed, striking her neck with his nose. She turned her body around, to face him, but she was met with a great smile, only meant for her. He held her tighter, kissing her just below her right ear, as she had done to him, the previous night. She smiled into his hair, rolling on top of him. He had to move on. She did too.

They looked deeply into each others eyes, when he took his head up, to meet her lips, for the very first time, since that accident, a long time ago. It wasn't intended, but for Rons 17'th birthday, they had shared one briefly kiss, for two seconds, had had left it there. She was drunk at that time, but their lips felt the same way.

He kissed her again, rolled her over, so he was on top of her. He pressed his body down on hers, and they both enjoyed the wonderful sensation, of another human being, so close to them. The moment didn't last so long though, because the house was wide awake, and Ginny who couldn't find her companion in the shared room, was calling down the hallway, and the two instantly stopped, and looked at the door.

"Get dressed, sweetheart!" He hissed at her, and she quickly got up, and threw her pajamas on, borrowing Remus's brush, so her hair wouldn't look like she had just banged half of the Gryffindor Quidditch-team. He also dressed himself in his normal beige suit, with clamps all over it, and they quickly made the bed. They stopped, and looked at each other, from across the bedsides, smiling secretly. She was so goddamn wonderful, he couldn't believe it.

"Get over to the door, 'Mione!" He said, grabbing the book of 'Herbs to be found in North Europe', and he followed her over to the door, opening it slightly.

With a higher voice than usually, he said:

"So Hermione, I hope it will do you good, when terms start again. You'll get it finished in a couple an hours, but return it when you find that you don't need it anymore. Keep it for so long you wish!" And she giggled a bit, over his acting, and she opened the door wide. They both heard footsteps, and the tall redhead came into sight just a moment after.

"There you were 'Mione! I woke up, and you weren't there, so I just assumed you would be in the living room, still reading, but when I got there, you were nowhere to be seen. Neither in the kitchen, library or the boys room, and I... I. Remus Lupin, good morning! Why did you steal her away from me?!" She asked confused.

"Don't ever do that again, without my knowledge!" She joked.

"Relax Gin, I just needed to give 'Mione a book for your seventh year. It helped me through herbology. You can use it too, if you'd like." He smiled kindly at her.

"Oh. Thank you. But you still scared me. But please, it's only seven in the morning, and you're both dressed. Well, not you 'Mione, but anyway. It's early! Mum is making breakfast for us all, so come down in the kitchen with me, would ye'? Teddy has been begging for you both, keep crying the little thing. Mum don't know how to handle him, while balancing five pancakes at a time, and I'm not really a fan of children. Think he is quite the drama queen, that blueberry baby. He's not like his father, in any kind." She winked at Remus, and they all laughed. Ginny followed them down to the kitchen, where a wonderful smell of pancakes met them, along with the heartbreaking sound of a crying baby, and a hissing Molly, doing her best with the lullabies. Harry sat at the table, reading the Daily Prophet, but he dropped it on the counter, and got up to meet his lovely girlfriend, and embraced her in a warm hug. Remus looked down at Hermione, with that weird look on his face.

"Morning you two." Molly yelled over the screaming, and Hermione quickly got over to Teddy, taking him in her arms, and cared for her, as if it were her own. Remus looked proud at them both, which Harry seemed to notice.

"Something up, Moony?" He asked, with a grin. That cocky comment was just like his father.

"No. No, not at all. Just been missing sleep, you know. Spend the night reading, and your lovely 'Mione chose to wake me up half past six for a bloody book. Get the picture?" He pointed at him, smile on his face, and walked over to give Molly a good-morning kiss on her forehead.

So was breakfast. Ron came down only moments after, and grabbed the sports section from Harry's paper. Fred followed close up, but only to sit down, and stare out in the cold air. Mr. Weasley had already taken off for work, since everyone needed to assist after the Death eaters interference in the ministry. So many things had to be rebuild and redone. Kingsley Shaklebolt had decided to make a memorial fountain, in memory of the fallen heroes, of the second wizard war, and every employee had to help for it to get ready.

They sat in silence and ate, but as soon as everyone were done, chatting burst out, and Remus found himself in a lovely conversation with Ron, about the best way to prevent yourself from pixie attacks.

"Remus dear, I found a bloody boggart at the attic, would you please take care of it later?" Molly asked him, over Ron's shoulder, while she was getting on with the dishes.

"Yes of course, I'll start right after lunch!" He stated, with a charming smile. He looked over to Hermione, two seats away. She sat there, talking about her last year at Hogwarts, with Harry, but he would catch her eyes, and she send him a knowing glance.

"Hermione, can we talk later, after I've finished off the boggart?" He said eagerly.


End file.
